Teach Your Kids to Be Gracious Receivers

You watch with trepidation as your child opens a gift from Great Uncle Harold or that sweet shut-in down the street. As you observe, you silently pray that your child will receive whatever it is with grace and kindness (even if it’s a pair of hand-knitted socks or a flowery handkerchief).

We are in the Christmas season, a time of year when a lot of gifts are given and received. No matter how much we stress the true meaning of Christmas, kids still get overly excited about what they’re GETTING! Excitement can cause them to say things without thinking. Sometimes those spontaneous words are funny – but other times they’re rude.

Christmas is about the greatest gift ever given – God sending His Son to earth so that we can have eternal life (John 3:16).

Christmas is also about showing our love to those around us. Yet, we often teach our kids the joy of giving but neglect to teach them the graciousness of receiving.

The fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) includes characteristics that help us be good gift receivers, such as:

  • love (loving the other person and thinking about her feelings)
  • joy (contentment)
  • patience (with someone else’s choices)
  • kindness (not making rude comments)

No matter what the gift.

Teach your kids that whenever they open a gift, they need to express thankfulness. If the person is present, the child needs to look at the person and say a sincere thank you.

Teach your children that even if they don’t like the gift, they can appreciate that the person took the time to purchase and wrap it and sincerely appreciate that.

If it’s a family situation, you may want to teach younger children to walk over to the person who gave the gift and give her a hug. (Use your judgment, but it’s often a good thing to do.)

If the person isn’t present, children need to immediately write thank-you notes. Even young children can draw thank-you pictures.

Prepare your children for awkward situations, too.

  1. A duplicate of something they already have.
  2. The gift is something they truly don’t like. (Your 14-year-old receives a brown and purple sweater dotted with green squirrels.)
  3. The gift is for the wrong age. (Your 12-year-old gets a preschool coloring book.)
  4. The gift is inappropriate. (You might not like your child having toys or apparel promoting a certain TV or cartoon character, but Aunt Jane doesn’t know that.)

Of course, the best thing we can do is model gracious receiving. We don’t like every gift we receive, and we sometimes receive duplicates of things we already have (and our kids are aware of that). Our response goes a long way toward teaching our kids graciousness.

When everyone is gone, it’s OK for the 12-year-old (and the rest of the family, too) to giggle about the brown and purple sweater. But don’t allow your children to say mean things about the giver herself. Instead, talk about the effort someone put into buying and wrapping the gift (and maybe in the case of the sweater, putting long hours into making it).

You could also talk about kids who don’t have warm clothes and would appreciate the sweater – squirrels and all. Is there a children’s shelter in town where you could donate some slightly worn clothes? Better yet, could your older children go to the shelter for the afternoon and entertain the younger kids?

Be intentional about teaching your kids gracious receiving – and this year, have a thankful Christmas.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 3rd, 2010 at 6:31 pm and is filed under Christmas, Gratitude, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “Teach Your Kids to Be Gracious Receivers”

  1. Teaching kids to be gracious receivers | Effective Children's Ministry Says:

    December 16th, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    [...] Modern Day Joseph, a web site of the children’s ministry AWANA, has a great article with practical tips on how to encourage our kids to be gracious when they receive gifts. [...]

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About the Authors
Jeff Smith
Jeff Smith is editorial manager of Awana. He and his wife have two children. Jeff has written three curriculum books for Awana.
Kim Anderson
Kim Anderson is a Web copywriter for Awana. She and her husband have daughters in sixth and ninth grade. Kim is a former youth ministry leader at her church who has co-written six books on youth ministry.
Linda Massey Weddle
Linda Weddle is senior U.S. program designer at Awana. She grew up in Awana, her children took part in Awana, and now her grandchildren all are in Awana. Linda is author of How to Raise a Modern-Day Joseph.